During one of my chit-chat long lunch with some buddies, we were discussing about relationships. They were worried about my turbulent private life and the so-called dramatic ups and downs. I was more pre-occupied with the delicious fish fillet as they go on and on about love lost and found, etc, etc and ended up listening more than talking (for once in my life).
Suddenly, someone raised up the topic about young successful female professional in their late twenties and thirties. He mentioned that most of us (I guess I m in that category as well) have dysfunctional relationships when it comes to romance and the whole works with one main reason being that we are too focused on our own career, projects, advancements, hobbies, etc. As a result, we became complacent and occasionally selfish.
I have to admit that I made a few mistakes before when it comes to love. I’m not about to wash my dirty laundry in the public but lets just say that I didn’t implement very good quality control when it comes to social life. I have plenty of goals in life and when I decided to insert some safety regulations for the matters of my heart, I lose all discipline and ended up getting all hurt and heartbroken. I know that it’s important to have a few ground rules and from now on, I am going to strictly implement them (fingers crossed).
One, looks no longer matter. I used to date decent-looking guys which are not really that hot but are generally pleasant-looking people. As I grow in age and maturity ( I hope), I have learnt to separate the fact that good-looks doesn’t guarantee anything at all. In fact, some of the cuter ones are too hot for me to handle and i ended up feeling very left out, confused and abandoned.
Two, I need to have someone I can look up to, a leader in every sense in life. If the sense of respect is not there, how can we work out things and problems in the future? It doesn't mean that the person has to be a healthcare professional (I don't discriminate) but the person has to have a proper job which he has the passion and concentration for. Three, the person must have deep integrity and similar moral values. Most importantly, the person has to be a wholly-devoted, committed, matured, genuine Christian who love God more than me. Interesting concept and hard to grasp at first but this is something that I have learnt to submit to totally, without any questions asked.
As I drove back to my habitat, I mused on the topic my friend mentioned. Am I one of those people totally distracted by myself and my goals? Is it that hard to maintain healthy relationships and be massively successful? As I journey on in life, I guess my question will slowly be answered as I go on searching, wandering, wondering…