Saturday, March 29, 2008

A Saturday filled with hope and thinking about the little miracles in life

This was my mood yesterday..filled with gloom and misery. Like the heavy clouds that enveloped the sutera harbour harbour, I was still in a state of low spirit. With a massive drop in my natural high level of energy. I slept for almost 12 hours and woke up groggy. Strangely, after breakfast at a nearby coffee shop in Teluk Intan, the little wontons in the noodle seemed to fill me with a sense of euphoria and hope. Ok, this is not a direct endorsement from the coffee shop uncle ok? Not only that, I received 2 encouraging emails from 2 persons that i didn't expect to reply so fast. Suddenly, I had the impetus to clean up my room and rearrange everything...

Then my mood and outlook lifted..just like the picture below...I began to receive some answers to the questions I have been asking myself. I was initially confused and upset because I didn't know what went wrong. As answers began to trickle in, I understood now that seriously, everything in life has a reason and a purpose. As I cleaned up my room, I meditated upon some encouraging verses from the Bible. Not only that, I drew upon the inner conviction inside me that there is always hope. So as my room became cleaner, so did my inner soul.

I began to thank God for the various gifts that He has showered upon my life. I have a roof above me, a car to drive around, a job, people who love me and care for me and most of all, I still have good health and a sharp mind. I was told about a fellow doctor who had the biggest tragedy in life and now is gone from the face of earth in her thirties due to a sudden illness and she had 2 young children and they are now left on their own.

So as I ponder upon life optimistically and began to work on my studies and my stamina for my 2 projects in april 2008, I know that I will be strong enough, mentally, emotionally and physically to face the next 6 months. My comfort is the fact that I made some inner decisions and that I will alas, patiently carry out those decisions, pending on how this drama of life unfolds

Thanx to some of my frens who dropped in and left some comments as well as my friends who called me and chatted with me, lifting my spirit little by little. Please do continue to pray for me that I will be used as a vessel of grace and mercy for God even in this little town of Teluk Intan and also for the people who need me in my practice and my personal life.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Picking up the pieces

Today I finally realized a few things in life that I failed to grasp before this. This self-realization hits me so hard that I will change for the better from now on. I received a piece of news that is quite bad but it's not the end of the world. in fact, i dunno why i m being so upset when i can do nothing about changing the situation. Not only that, tears and depression will never bring about action and results. Instead, being rational and strong could help the situation even more..

Not only that, failure is not the end of everything. If we could rise up from the ashes, that's when real triumph comes. It's when we stay steadfast through the darkest trials, that's when the value of the victory becomes the sweetest.

Furthermore, I know now that i cannot be selfish and fearful of things yet unknown. In times when I am alone, that's when I should develop my own talents, abilities and social circle the most. This is the time that I could walk so closely with God and love Jesus even more that many fruits will bear, that my spiritual life could soar like an eagle.

When things are smooth-sailing, we tend to take things for granted. When the huge storm comes, that's when we find that we are unprepared. If we couldn't weather the little storms in life, then how could we face harder times to come?

I know this is one of my most serious entries to date but I couldn't help pouring out my thoughts as i emerge from the depths of emotional turmoil. The turbulence in my heart is slowly soothe as i churn out these words, one by one. This is the beauty of the written language.

As I brace myself for a few challenges i have to go through on my own the next few months, I pray to God that I will be a shining example of a spirit-filled life..being able to live life to the fullest with the joy of God within me always

Saturday, March 22, 2008

A scary flight and an equally dramatic sunset

As you all would know by now, i was on my way to Kota Kinabalu to present my little research paper in the College of Surgeon's meeting and also the Asian Endocrine Association meeting. i was very excited as it all sounds so prestigious and this is my first time attending an event of such calibre. imagine the adrenaline level flowing in my veins as i boarded my flight ( i think i could have been diagnosed with phaeochromocytoma based on my catecholamines level!!!)

So, why on earth did i manage to land up in brunei international airport? apparently, my plane to KK couldn't land dt runway problem and we were diverted to brunei after wasting a few tonnes of petrol circling the KK airspace. So aside from leaving a massive carbon footprint on planet earth, we burn up 2 hours of our precious time waiting for the plane to refuel at brunei as i caught my first glimpse of brunei without setting foot on the soil. Man..and i thought i had a free trip to brunei.

then i had the worst half hour airplane trip of my life. the turbulence was so severe that at one point, we fell 50 feet and at that brief moment, i felt my stomach in my mouth (literally). i felt 0 gravity for free again...thank God no one vomited but as lighting flashed by around us, i was praying like mad and wishing to God that we would land soon. so after a two hour delay, i managed to reach KK in one piece to enjoy this...

Yup, that's me trying out my bath-tub at magellan sutera harbour resort, KK. as u can see, i was pretty thrilled that i could slide the window open and watch tv from the bathroom. ahh..the luxury of a 5 star hotel. no only that, i had 3 beds all to myself and a nice view from my room...grin

after my horrendous plane ride and the rain enveloping KK the first day, i would have never expected that i could catch this kind of brilliant sunset at my hotel. as usual, good things always come unexpected and i was in perfect awe of this majestic display of colours during a particularly cloudy sunset. trust me, i didn't have time to edit any of this pictures and it all came from my little canon ixus camera which has no extra functions or special lenses.

so, as i was busy snapping all this picture, many well-heeled european tourists were seen enjoying the sun (baking themselves relentless) prior to that. actually, i began to realize that travelling alone is not that scary after all..i could spend a lot of time people-watching and snapping pictures this way

so as the day draw to an end, i retired to my room and pondered my next move...wat should i do the following day in this land beneath the winds? stay tune for the next instalment of my Sabahan odyssey....

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Here I am..carpe diem i am..joining the massive community of bloggers. gulp.. could finally give my two-cents worth of thoughts as a fun-loving, hyperactive, mostly optimistic surgical trainee. i always feel that being a doctor doesn't mean that life is confined to the four walls of the hospital. I beg to differ from the certain mainstream ideas that we are 'busy' most of the time. yeah, i know that work takes up a lot of our time but our social calendar need not suffer right? look at some of my equally outgoing friends like wei wei and gang. that's what I call living life to the fullest!!

et I am..expressing my views in this time of change. Standing on the threshold of change in our country, beholding the possibilities of things to come, I could only imagine and pray that a better future lies ahead for our nation. I am..fresh from my first climb up Bukit Tabur, post-witnessing a marvellous sunrise over the Klang Valley. Although I'm not a physically strong person (trust me, I am trying to build up strength to be a surgeon but I will get there one day), I love all kinds of outdoor activities. The nature always hold a special allure over me. Hiking up hills and soaking up the early pre-dawn breeze seems to reinvigorate my soul and battered spirits. Not only that, being bathed in the technicolour display of sunrise infuse in me a new determination to seize the day..yup, carpe diem I am..having a newfound confidence and esteem unlike before. Although my thigh muscles are screaming in pain as I descend pathetically down my house staircase, I resolve that I will present properly in the competition next week in Magellan Sutera Harbour, KK, Sabah and learn as much as I can from the more-senior competitors. After all, if we go in a battle with a positive mindset, the war is half-won.