Friday, January 1, 2010

The derailed train goes back on track

Yesterday, a new friend asked me : “How did you celebrate New Year’s day the past few years?” That seemingly-innocuous question actually triggered this post and a whole day of retrospection. I tried to recall my past few years and I don’t remember any significant celebrations except for 2 particular New Year Eve events, 2 years in a row. Now to add to that, I discovered that this is the third celebration that’ll go down memory lane.

Let me explain. The first time I ushered in new year with a group of friends was in 2000, the year of Y2K. It was the only time that I stayed awake the entire morning of 1st Jan, wandering the streets of KL and Bukit Bintang with a group of friends from school. The massive crowd in front of the huge Swatch watch was incredible as we ushered in the 3rd millennium. That was the first time I discover that people actually celebrate New Year in public squares and huge outdoor parties…one of my first few rites of passage into adulthood, perhaps? It was memorable to a young girl, after all....

The following year, I went for my first watchnight service in memory. It was the year I gave testimony in front of the entire church spontaneously (it was in the days when Metro Tab was pretty small and we could do a lot of things on spunk, spontaneity and sheer courage alone). I was telling about how I got into the medical school that I want, the most highly-demanded medical school for post-STPM students in Malaysia. The audience chuckled when I said I’ve only got 4As 1B for STPM…Those were the days when fewer people score straight As. Guess this person with high expectations upon oneself was quite a perfectionist and a nerd to boot!

After that, I think my life went a bit out-of-sync. I guess when we achieve a big milestone in our lives, we begin to rest on our laurels. The drive and expectation to success was further dampened and diluted when my mom passed away. She was the one who inspired me to be the most outstanding among my peers and after her passing, at times I settled for less. I rather fade into the crowd, albeit an ‘highly-intellectual’ crowd. Nevertheless, I hung on to the God amidst the crazy workload and fluctuating social life. There were indeed some dramatic peaks and challenging troughs in life after graduation.

It was only recently, when I reviewed a decade of my life, that I realized that I’ve fallen short of the initial idealism and calling 10 years ago. The service last night was monumental for I am reminded that I could be released to be a blessing to others, for I am truly blessed in so many aspects. 6 weeks into living in this dynamic city, I’ve met many charismatic, brilliant, driven and God-fearing friends that I know that God wants me to go back on track again, towards reaching my original 'destination'.

Anyhow, for me, the first half of 2010 will be the ground-breaking months. Firstly, it will be the time whereby I know for sure whether I could achieve my immediate goal, my initial aim for coming to this country. Secondly, I look forward to a life of great impact to people groups and nations in channeling my skills to help in underdeveloped areas of the world. Of course, there are other secondary goals too, but at this present moment, I shall pray and prepare myself for the days to come as this derailed little ‘CPD train’ go back on track again

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