Down and out!!

Modem.Gone.Kaput.“Siew Jor”.Habis.Zilch.Nada.

I’ve gone for almost 1 week without a modem in the house. That’s a week of agony. Although I could feed my hunger pangs for Internet at work, it was a mere 15 to 20 mins of public surfing doing the urgent stuff (checking mails, fb, fs and news) before I have to go attend to some work.

Therefore, I am deprived of my major source of entertainment, social life and information. Poured out my energy into a few different outlets…namely new-found physical activities (ran like never before), read a few books (those non medical-related), took pictures of random, mundane stuff in daily life (hey, I’m in a small town that many of you have never visited!), played my guitar/saxophone/comp games & most importantly, spent a lot of quality time in the presence of the Lord.

Being deterred from cyberspace doesn’t mean that I am lost in my own world. Read the recent news including the infamous story on the baby ‘selling’ racket in Johor. We as the public should not pre-judge the accused as the trial has not taken place and we do not know the whole story yet. Sensational reporting is part and parcel of mass media.

Of course the act of selling babies is deplorable in our society but what actually transpired in the minds of the people involved remains uncovered until further details are investigated and revealed in due time. As for the moment, I feel very sad and disappointed as a doctor because the basic tenet of medical care might be breached if a senior healthcare professional is proven to be the mastermind or instrumental in these black-market deals. Even so, any accused is innocent until proven guilty under our laws and therefore, let us wait and see….as we look at the rates of end-stage renal failure patient going up, before long, we might even haf kidneys for sale!! Gasp..

Just before I left for KL, admitted one patient with very badly ulcerated, smelly and bloody breast cancer. The moment we peel off the previous dressing, insects started swarming towards her due to the reek and the bloody discharge took more than 5 minutes of compression to stop the ooze of blood due to the amount of raw tissue seen.

She was just 40 year-old. As she asked me some questions about how to reduce the smell from the tumour, I wondered how is it that people keep their illness to themselves up to such late stage. I mean, either the lady or her husband would have noticed the swelling way before the terminal stage. She told me that it’ll be ok for her family as her husband has a younger second wife. Then it dawned upon me that she is so used to be unwanted, stigmatized, neglected that having a tumour is just part of the daily pain that she is having. She has accepted her ‘lot’ in life and doesn’t want to fight anymore. I see the depths of pain, suffering and embarrassment in her eyes.

Pain.....because of the emotional and physical ailment. Suffering….because of the advanced nature of metastatic illness (cancer cell spread to bones, lung and brain is possible) and embarrassment…because of the sight and smell of her illness.

That’s why it was a respite when I loaded up my stuff and drove to KL, alone but wanting to just ease my mind off the daily drama I face at work. Stuck in a traffic jam after months of living without congestion is a totally different experience. Besides boring and time-energy-consuming, it puzzles me to think how much we still depend on our cars despite the steep price of petrol. It’s so surreal to be back in a place where I grow up in and yet feel so separated from…feels like two worlds’ apart.

Anyway, got a lot of encouraging comments from new and old friends so I vow to update my blog more frequently. Hopefully, the next time I blog about my work will be on a topic much more inspiring and less gory and graphic.

Maybe I should talk about something light-hearted and humourous next? Sigh..I really need to get a funny bone. Seriously, out of the 250 over bones in my body, I think I seriously lack a funny bone. My dream-blog is something is hilarious and witty like the production from kenny or POTS, etc, etc. At least I know that I am regularly getting 150 or more hits per week..which is a far cry from the massive volume of traffic on those well-established sites but hopefully, I am getting there. All out to conquer the cyber-space.. :-)..errr, wait, where's my Crocs sandals and Stila kit again?